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Lifetime Ambitions | Paula Jordan

Lifetime Ambitions

I met one of the Mister’s cousins for the very first time last weekend. It became evident very quickly why he hadn’t introduced us earlier. Our brains operate and deliver thoughts in a similarly unfiltered fashion with a special brand of humour. Nerve wracking for The Mister.

The cousin and I traded Social Media details and what do you know, her Insta name sounds like a Stripper, advertising in the back pages of the local paper….@PleasureNinja and @MistressofProvcoativeIdeas twirled around their poles in delight. We are both upstanding, responsible citizens of the world who have been blessed by Fabulous Titles and neither of us googled “How to choose your Stage Name”. How good is life when you find that there is more than one of you roaming the streets of the Southern Hemisphere.

Southern Hemisphere, Stripper names and Smart women leads me to the book I’m currently reading. Fiona Patten’s Sex, Drugs and the Electoral Roll: My unlikely journey from sex worker to Member of Parliament has amused and enlightened me as I have flown between the Queensland Outback and the coast.

Fiona has combined the two career choices of my youth.

It was either my 12th birthday or my Uncle’s funeral (can’t remember which) I declared my intention to become a prostitute.

My aunt queried my intent.
I told her it was because of the cash and the boots.

I used to love seeing the Hookers/Prostitutes/Ladies of the Night on the street corners downtown.

The combo of late nights, fabulous outfits, risqué nature of what they were doing and the cold hard cash rocked my world.

I had no sweet clue what was actually involved in their job.

I moved on from wanting to be a prostitute to wanting to be a truck driver, then a lawyer and finally a politician.

It was about that time that I was chosen to be part of a school group that went to Ottawa to see how the Canadian federal government worked. My social nature had me more focused on the fun and new friends to be had than on what was actually being taught.

Not much has changed in 30 some years. I still get the urge to become Mayor but alas my freedom and fun-loving soul whisks me off on another adventure before I can get my campaign signs printed.

The love of boots and stacks of cash still rock my world. It’s really only the late nights that curtailed the Sex Worker career.

I tend to fall asleep before 9pm.